I’M STILL A PEOPLE JUST LIKE AS YOU ARE

I AM SICK

Im not STUPID Or MENTALLY Disabled

I’m NOT CRAZY.

It’s not STRESS, It’s not in my head.

I’m not causing this myself.

I’m not making it up.

I’m LEARNING about myself every day.

How well I deal with this sickness.

I can still do things for myself.

I Like my INDEPENDENCE

BUT SOMETIMES

I MAY NEED YOUR HELP

Don’t take that as weakness or that I’m giving up.

I’m TRYING The BEST I CAN.

We all need a little boost from time to time,

LEND A HAND.

You NEVER know How Much it could MEAN

…

Me.. HONESTLY,

I had Mixed Connective Tissue Disease

And often being attack by RAYNAUD PHENOMENON

Because…

I can’t stand with

COLD or LOWER TEMPERATURE

At some place

ESPECIALLY

With the place that have air conditioner.

Yet, STILL

I put my effort

To find another jobs out there

To become a ladies who have my own careers

As well as other normal girl out there

Every question start with smoothly

UNTIL

When it turn to employer ask me

“Do you have any problem disease?”

(After a long silence)

I ANSWERED

YES!

Honestly, I can’t stand with cold or low temperature.

The Employer reaction à “…”

As expected

My interview was END

…

Okay, It’s not my first TIME

I’ve being rejected by some employers

But each time I’ve been rejected by those unknown/unsurely reaction

I just can put my best smile towards them

And say

“Thanks for listen”

And I slowly get up and walk to the door

Also at the same time

Big SCARs appears in my heart

No ONE knows what I feel in that time

But im sure

The employer feels pity towards me

I know that

Because everyone look at me as a patient

NOT as PEOPLE

As I arrived at home

I straight go to the kitchen

And put a water to the glass

As I think if i can envelop my scar

Which is now is bleeding inside of my heart

And suddenly my mother sit in front of me

“How your Interview?”

“As usual, after the DISEASE line, they full stop.”

“…”

I know that looks for my mom

Then I try to stand up and straight to my bedroom.

Lying there…

While my tears start rolling down…

Looking straight to the white ceiling

And ask to my Creator

Is that really bad to become someone who had UNCURE Disease?

Are people doesn’t look for a PATIENT like me?

I know, I Am A Patient.

I Am SICK

But still,

I want to TRY TO BEING A HUMAN

I mean NORMAL HUMAN

who still can HELP ANOTHER PEOPLE out there

with any job

AS LONG AS I CAN DO with my BEST.

I don’t need a PITY

I don’t need a SYMPATHY.

What I need…

PLEASE

Give Me Also Some OPPORTUNITY

…

YES. I Am A SICK GIRL

But REMEMBER

I’M STILL A PEOPLE
JUST LIKE AS YOU ARE