I Proud To Be Who I Am

My friends Gisha who studies majoring in Health Profession in Washington help me to make a research about my disease. With honestly she said I was attacked by 2 kind of disease at the same time. From outside appearance, she told me I am an osteoporosis patience, something which close to scelorosis. That’s mean I’ve a weak muscles, once got into broken bones and also have less red-blood cell but more into white-blood cell. That’s because I can’t stand at the lower temperature room/laboratory.

Then, she told me, why I’m always babble say to her I am so lonely girl. These topic have little bit connection about my second disease. And also, she really frightened me till I burst into tears.

Skizofrenia Chronic. I had Skizofrenia chronic. What?! She said I am one of the mean patience? She means I am crazy! It’s really hard to listen about her explanation at first but at the same time I proud to meet her not only as my far-pal but also as my private doctor that I’ve ever meet in my life. At first we just friend, but I didn’t realize why I told her everything about what happen in single day of my life.  I didn’t realize at all why I told her everything about me but I think she is a good listener. She is my real friend who  see me on detail although we’re so far from each other. She always calm me and said “you’re not crazy, you’re the perfect girl of your imperfection that I’ve ever meet”. I’m still hold her words in my mind until this day.  She always told me whenever I got some trouble, thinking if I want to hurt myself, please thinking there a lot of people who still love me. It’s better if I took a pray and watch something that can make me laugh or read some quote that can make me get a positive thinking. She know how many time I said to her I am lonely but she told me back If I need someone to talk, just think of her because she always beside me. Watching me what just I feel then. See? How warm this girl towards me. She really made me calm.

Without her, maybe I’ll keep seeing myself as a really bad Skizofrenia patience. I know who I am but because of her, she teach me don’t look too much our weaknesses, but try to fight our weakness, because it’s the only way we can found our strongest.

In the past, I’ve known as osteoporosis patience who always keep my distance from everyone till I lose one by one of friends. Second time I most give up when I know I had Skizofrenia. I almost give up till I’m always see myself as a lonely girl who doesn’t keep on touch with everyone around me. That’s what Gisha told me, Skizofrenia patience like to be alone and doesn’t make any sociality, because they really like to be alone.

But those far, I meet so many people since I try to be independent girl who stay away from my parents and my mom that I love very much. I use to make Arashi’s quote as my inspiration, her words as my confident-self and pray to Allah SWT to keep an eye of me whenever I went to. Although it takes just half years, it feels like 10 years of a great experience and I learn  so many thing, learn how to see a people to be with or not. I finally found myself, I found something that made me so happy, I learn about LIFE.

Since then, I try to accept I am an osteoporosis patience, I try to accept how bad Skizofrenia chronic attacked myself.

Then now, I’m always appreciated it because this is a beautiful thing Allah give to me. Each time I recalled about how bad my condition on past, that’s it, with some of people who came to my life and give me self-confident how to face this world without ashamed with our self… really, I want to thanks to them a hundred thousand, words Alhamdullillah never miss whisper out of my mouth to say how glad I am to meet this kind of people and Insyallah, one day I’ll meet Gisha and Arashi. Because they’re really took an importance roles how to make me still able to smile until this day.

Finally, thanks to God. It’s okay for everyone to make a thought and see me as an unperfect girl. Deeply, through the bottom of my heart, to the people who see this imperfection… I just want to say one thing,

God, u creates such a beautiful things that u wears on me, Alhamdulillah… you make me special and as long as I live, I proud to be who I am.